Why is the Soul So Shy?

I have tentatively started – yet once again – to write in a journal, inspired by Virginia Woolfe, Anais Nin and even Kierkegaarde. My earliest inspiration for doing do was The Diary of Anne Frank, which I read  around the same age she was when she wrote that remarkable book – at the ripe old age of 12. I was so moved by her courage in the face of the horror that surrounded her and her family.

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Every time I tried writing in a journal in the past, I would face my own inner horror which would say: ‘can I dare to be totally open and true to myself and the page?’ This existential terror would whisper…..’what if someone finds it and reads it? There is no hiding place that is good enough’. On a deep soul level this fear always slammed on the brakes.

 Now I am finally beginning  to see this for what is – the shyness of the soul – and I realize I am not alone. I came across this wonderful quote from Maya Angelou the other day and I realized that what I had been thinking about, she had articulated in another way – but that we were talking about the same thing:

 I am convinced that most people do not grow up. We find parking spaces and honor our credit cards. We marry and dare to have children and call that growing up. I think what we do is mostly grow old. We carry accumulation of years in our bodies and on our faces, but generally our real selves, the children inside, are still innocent and shy as magnolias.

We may act sophisticated and worldly but I believe we feel safest when we go inside ourselves and find home, a place where we belong and maybe the only place we really do.

 Maya Angelou

 As a child I lived much of my life in that presence, but I had no words for it. When I was younger I couldn’t speak about my inner reality or my inner truth, because there was no “I” strong enough to do so. As in the Hans Christian Andersen fairy tale of  The Little Mermaid, a story that I adored as a child, I had no voice. It took the long, slow process of growth into maturity to understand that like the little mermaid, I longed for a connection with The Prince. In Jungian terms this is understood as the inner connection to the animus (a woman’s inner connection to the masculine).

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 For the complete story from Hans Christian Andersen:

http://www.fairytalescollection.com/HansChristianAndersen/TheLittleMermaid.aspx

 If we look at the fairytale from the Jungian perspective, the little Mermaid suffers and sacrifices herself in order to connect with her prince in the hopes that it will bring her into a grounded relationship with him. The horrible sadness of it is that she sacrificed her voice in order to get legs, so she could walk by his side and be in the same reality in which he lived. Like the little mermaid, the woman’s connection with the animus is the bridge that brings us into the world, but then the soul has to struggle to find its voice.

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In this story, the Prince does not realize that it is the little mermaid who has saved his life when he was on the brink of drowning after a shipwreck. It is a man’s lifework to find and deepen the connection to the inner feminine and to give it voice. It is a woman’s lifework to find and embody the will, the strength and the courage to be and find her rightful work in the world, her true voice, her calling.

 This fairytale is about the longing of the soul for a grounded connection in life, and it also about its essential shyness. Until we are strong and courageous enough to speak from the soul, for the soul – we are silenced by our fear, distracted by our distractions, living a provisional life.

 This is not meant to blame – it takes a lot of time and courage, and perhaps many lifetimes to wake up. We need to be compassionate to ourselves and to others, while not allowing ourselves to be fooled into thinking this is all there is – so that we must rush and grab and step over others to gain a little inch for ourselves.

 When we do begin to wake up to this reality, we can begin to forgive ourselves for our lack of consciousness and our mistakes. Then, and only then,  can we begin to forgive others.  Perhaps they haven’t yet had the strength, courage or enough awareness to listen to their own souls and find their true voices.

 As Christopher Frye says in The Sleep of Prisoners, “It takes so many thousand years to wake, but will you wake, for pity’s sake?”

To listen to Sir George Trevelyan recite this poem go to:

SirGeorgeTrevelyanRecites_A_Sleep_of_Prisoners

A Sleep of Prisoners

by Christopher Fry

The human heart can go the lengths of God…

Dark and cold we may be, but this

Is no winter now.

The frozen misery

Of centuries breaks, cracks, begins to move;

The thunder is the thunder of the floes,

The thaw, the flood, the upstart Spring.

Thank God our time is now when wrong

Comes up to face us everywhere,

Never to leave us till we take

The longest stride of soul men ever took.

Affairs are now soul size.

The enterprise is exploration into God.

Where are you making for

It takes

So many thousand years to wake…

But will you wake, for pity’s sake?

 

 

Daydreaming and Realization

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“If I were not a physicist, I would probably be a musician. I often think in music. I live my daydreams in music. I see my life in terms of music.” Albert Einstein

One of my all-time favourite things to do is to go to my meditation corner of the house, light a candle, cafe latte in hand (made with vanilla soy), and hang out in my sacred space. I always start with some centering sitting yoga postures, and then I drift – into meditation,or sometimes just daydreaming as I stare out the window at the birds, the squirrels, the trees and the blue sky. I can spend a long time here – it always feels like such a nourishing opportunity to communicate with my higher self. Eventually I move on to some other yoga asanas, depending on what I feel my body needs, but my approach to yoga is very different to the North American variations which so often treat yoga as an exercise program. What much of the west seems to have lost is that yoga asanas were originally designed to prepare the body to sit in meditation.

When I first started to practice meditation, I would worry about the correct way to meditate (certainly no coffee!) and I would wonder whether I was doing it correctly. The inner critic used to have a field day as I tried to find my spiritual path. Now I just soak up the source, the same way a tree soaks up water through its roots and oxygen through its leaves. I no longer worry about whether I am meditating or daydreaming, because I have come to see the value of daydreaming.

When we free the mind to unplug from its daily worries and preoccupations, we open a receptive space inside ourselves  – we allow ourselves to be seeded by something higher. Daydreaming is different from fantasies that usually have an egoic agenda – such as sexual fantasies or fantasies of revenge or fantasies of escape from some karmic reality we are stuck in.

Daydreaming has no agenda. It is a deeply receptive state of inner listening. You might hold a question, in the same way you would hold a question when consulting the I Ching. And then you wait. If you notice that there is a suffering in your heart, or a clenching in your stomach because of some anxiety, you just notice it, allow it, and continue to receive the breath gently through diaphragmatic breathing. Just breath, watch the breath, and watch the thoughts coming in and then receding like the waves on the shore. Just watch and wait for what comes. You may be surprised by the revelations and insights that arrive, unbidden, on your doorstep.

When you allow your mind to quieten down by simply watching the thoughts, spaces start to open up between the thoughts. Don’t worry about trying to control the thoughts – they just start to naturally slow down after you watch them come and go for a while. Remember you are not your thoughts – you have a gazillion a day, most of them of little value.  It’s almost as if the mind gets embarrassed by the amount of trivia it generates when you are watching it. I often think the mind is like the internet – always on, and always able to generate endless content.

Daydreaming is the realm and seedbed of the imagination. It allows you to take a break from all that content and access something higher. Napping has a very similar restorative effect – the only difference is that napping is done under the veil of consciousness, whereas daydreaming maintains a stream of consciousness. Many great leaders and thinkers are natural daydreamers or devoted nappers. Einstein, along with many other great scientists, found that when he let go of the problem he was trying to solve, the solution would come on its own when he was daydreaming or going for a walk. Churchill would not go without his nap. I am sure he was guided throughout World War II, and taking a nap allowed him to connect with his higher self.

So give yourself permission to daydream – make space in your life to connect with that which is higher, which is trying to connect with you. Be open and receptive to listening to your heart in silence. If you listen deeply, it will always guide you.

These are some wonderful quotes of Albert Einstein on imagination, the intuitive mind,  creativity and daydreaming:

“Imagination is everything. It is the preview of life’s coming attractions.”

 “The intuitive mind is a sacred gift and the rational mind is a faithful servant. We have created a society that honors the servant and has forgotten the gift.”

 “The most beautiful experience we can have is the mysterious – the fundamental emotion which stands at the cradle of true art and true science.”

“Creativity is intelligence having fun.”

 “I am enough of an artist to draw freely upon my imagination. Imagination is more important than knowledge. Knowledge is limited. Imagination encircles the world.”

 “If you want your children to be intelligent, read them fairy tales. If you want them to be more intelligent, read them more fairy tales.”

 “Coincidence is God’s way of remaining anonymous.”

 “Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.”

 “A human being is a part of the whole called by us universe, a part limited in time and space. He experiences himself, his thoughts and feeling as something separated from the rest, a kind of optical delusion of his consciousness. This delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and to affection for a few persons nearest to us. Our task must be to free ourselves from this prison by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty.”

 And here is a link to the napping habits of some famous leaders:

http://www.artofmanliness.com/2011/03/14/the-napping-habits-of-8-famous-men/